Narcissist relationship playbook – They admired each other. Then turned cold. Sound familiar?
For years, Donald Trump and Elon Musk seemed to echo one another, two loud, dominant figures with overlapping fanbases and mutual praise. Musk reinstated Trump’s banned Twitter account in 2022. Trump called Musk a “genius.” But by 2024, the vibe shifted. Subtweets replaced flattery. Trump mocked Musk onstage. Musk boosted Trump’s rivals.
To outsiders, it looked like drama. To anyone who’s dealt with a narcissist? It looked like déjà vu.
Here’s the pattern:
Narcissist relationship playbook – Phase 1 : The Love Bomb
Narcissists start with over the top admiration. They call you brilliant, make you feel chosen. Musk praised Trump’s policies. Trump hyped Musk’s brain. It looked like friendship, but it was strategy. They were mirroring each other for mutual gain.
In real life, this could be a boss who calls you “family” on week one. A partner who says “soulmate” after date two. It feels real, but it’s just a hook.
Not every narcissist rushes in. Some are patient, charming, generous, even “stable” for months or years. But the goal is the same: to build emotional dependence. The love bomb doesn’t always explode. Sometimes, it’s a slow drip, until you’re unsure where your needs end and theirs begin.
Narcissist relationship playbook – Phase 2 : The Devaluation
The warmth cools. They nitpick. Undermine. Joke at your expense. Trump accused Musk of “begging” for subsidies. Musk stopped defending Trump and amplified his competitors.
Here’s where gaslighting kicks in. Narcissists won’t say, “I changed.” They’ll say you changed. “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re imagining it.” They deny what happened to make you question yourself. That’s how they stay in control.
Narcissist relationship playbook – Phase 3 : The Discard
Eventually, the usefulness runs out. That’s when they ghost, retaliate, or reshape the narrative to make you the problem. Musk distanced himself. Trump turned mocking. No official “breakup” just a quiet rewrite.
In your world, this might be the friend who suddenly cuts you off. The ex who trashes you after you set a boundary. The parent who withdraws affection when you stop complying.
It’s not you. It’s the cycle.
Did They Ever Love You?
That early version of them, the charming, attentive one was real only in effect. Narcissists are capable of desire, admiration, even obsession. But not love in the mutual, enduring sense. What they “loved” was how you made them feel. You’re not wrong for missing the good parts. But don’t confuse a performance with a partnership.
If This Feels Familiar:
Write it down. Record what was said and when. Gaslighting loses power when you see the pattern.
Stop chasing the high. That early flattery was bait, not foundation.
Protect your version. You don’t need to explain yourself to them, but you do need to believe yourself.
(For more on how to hold your ground when someone’s testing it, see Boundaries and Where the F to Find Them.)
Trump and Musk are just the high-profile version. The script doesn’t change, just the scale, and once you recognize the playbook, you stop being a player in it.
If this stirred something up, you’re not alone. Keep going:
We’re not always looking for love. Sometimes, we’re just trying to feel safe.
You don’t owe closure to the person who kept you open-ended.
Because some wounds need expression before explanation.
When envy isn’t about others, it’s about what you had to go without.
Endless options. Same outcome. Maybe it’s not about who, but how we’re looking.
One Response
What makes this super funny is that they’re both narcissists. :))